Book Review: Jan's Story: Love Lost to the Long Goodbye of Alzheimer’s by Barry Petersen

Before I begin my review of this book, I'd like to talk a little bit more about the subject matter - Alzheimer's Disease. If you're one of my subscribers, you probably know that my DH is in nursing. Well, years ago he decided that he wanted to work in geriatrics - and for the last four years, he's worked with Alzheimer's patients. My husband is a saint to me, because most folks would run. Sadly, many of them do. A lot of family members just can't handle the change in their loved ones, push them into a nursing home, and visit only once or twice a year. I know that the care is incredibly hard - those of you who are caregivers in nursing and assisted living, you deserve every round of applause.

Over the last few years, I've come to know my DH's favorite "residents". Shortly after this book arrived, one of his favorite folks he's taken care of passed away. (I'm using fake names here) Bob was actually one of the few "residents" who was blessed to have his wife there by his side - not just visiting. Jane actually gave up everything to stay with Bob in this facility the last few years while his Alzheimer's disease progressed. I had the honor of meeting them, and they were a sweet, loving couple even through this horrible disease. The morning after Bob passed, Jane was so lost. What now? They had been married over 60 years. My heart breaks for her, and for every family who's had to deal with it.

But not every couple is like Bob and Jane. With Early Onset Alzheimer's striking younger and younger folks - there was someone where DH works that came in a few months ago that was just 48 years old, and the disease had already destroyed his life - many married folks are very lost at what to do. What would you do if suddenly your spouse was stricken with Alzheimer's and the disease progressed so quickly? Would you stick it out? Take the verbal and physical abuse that comes with Alzheimer's? Bathe and change your wife's Depends several times a day? Help them eat each meal? How do you do this if you're not retired, and still need your job?

It's scary that we even have to think about it. When we say "forever" and "In sickness and in health", is there a line that's made? Is this person who is a shell of their former self, who doesn't even remember who you are, the same person you made that vow with?


In Jan's Story: Love Lost to the Long Goodbye of Alzheimer’s, written by CBS correspondent Barry Petersen, he talks about his marriage to Jan (who also worked for CBS), and what happened as they first learned Jan had the disease. Jan's was very past progressing - within 5 years at the age of 60, she had to be admitted to an assisted living facility because Barry could no longer handle her care. He talks about his love for Jan, his feelings - how there is no manual for caregiving for your loved ones (he's right - we are often thrust into caring for family members and many people have no clue how, much less how to deal with the emotions). There are some funny moments too - folks with Alzie's have no filter, so it can be entertaining sometimes. ;)

And then he talks about moving on, and living with another woman while still visiting Jan at the care facility, and bringing his new love to meet with the old love. They call it a "relationship of three".

The story is sad - you'll want a box of tissues by your side - and it really is an honest picture of what goes on for a married couple when one has been diagnosed with this horrible disease. It is a good book to read to get a better picture of this disease, especially if a loved one has recently been diagnosed. The book has been endorsed by the Alzheimer's Association, and 10% of all the proceeds will be donated to them, in order to help with research.

However, it doesn't mean I agree with Mr. Peterson's decision "to move on". A vow said in front of the Lord (or whomever you believe in) is a vow, and I always make it clear that I believe in Forever.

Jan's Story by Barry Peterson is a non-fiction oversize trade paperback and has 206 pages. It retails for $15.95, but as of this posting, Amazon has it for just $9.32.

I received a copy of this book in order to write a review.